 | This is my morning meditation. this is how he mostly sleeps. Right now, while I am writing, he sleeps with his whole body coiled around my side. I wake up and he is sleeping, next to me, totally attached to me. I used to have it with my mom. Only I mostly would never act on it. At that age not, as a child. Later not - because that is not what one does.. A few years back I asked why there were scarce hugs and physical contact, why I was not so much hugged when I was little. I was told that I was a wild child and that I did not want it. When my own memory - and that of my body - is that I was screaming inside for hugs and for to be hold lovingly. At around the same age my step grandfather would tickle me long. I hated it and every time asked him to stop. Somehow he would forget it until the next time we saw each other.. |
I grew up with this hunger for touch.
It was so totally ingrained in me, in my energetically bodies. When I started to grow up it was what boys and men were attracted to me by, for the most part.
My body that wanted hugs.
And hugs I would get - but not in the form I wanted to.
..This blog is not going in the direction I thought it would go to, or I wanted to.
Today I am not going to let it go where it wants. I wanted to say something else.
This is my morning meditation.
Writing - with my son's warm sleeping body next to me.
.. Or just looking at the sky - we sleep with the huge window curtains open, so that we can at all times look at the sky. (that is why I spotted the owl a week or so ago).
.. Or making plans in my head - it's my best moment to listen to my unseen guides. (thank you)
.. Or writing blogs in my head, just because I do not want to put the wi-fi on, and open the computer or iPad :-)
That happens quite often. :-)
..Feeling the love and the gratitude for him - that he is so naturally trusting,
And gratitude and love for me. For me - that I can let this happen and I allow him to love me. That I allow love.
Every morning, this is it. A love meditation.
And than he wakes up and he asks me something, like we just had stopped talking a few seconds ago. Today, he did not even open his eyes yet - and he asks: "Hoe schrijf je Celine Tam?". How do you write Celine Tam?
I tell him. He says: it's easy, then.
".. en hoe zeg je telephone in het Engels?" How do you say "telephone" in English.
I tell him, and I also say "where is my phone?", in English. He laughs and he answers, in English,
We remember together that "phone" was his second word (first was "bal" = ball)-
He would play incessantly with our old telephone when he had just started walking.
He is learning constantly. So beautiful to see.
So who is Celine Tam that V asked about? His last best "friend" on Internet. You can see her here below. He watched this particular video of her about 300 times in the last two weeks.
He learned the song by heart by now and during the time of the day he asks me often what is the meaning of some of the words is.
I wanted to write that I am relieved that he does not watch Jesus Christ Superstar anymore, I could not really stand it any more.
And then he asks to watch Jesus Christ Superstar - he does that telepathic thing :-)
Oh well.
This is how he learns English at the moment.
And then he asks: "wat betekent Rawsome?" (what does raw some means?)
I am quite amazed by this because it is impossible that he ever heard that from me, although Rawsome is one of my favorite names in the raw food world :-) Awesome find.
I ask him where he heard it, and he says simply: in my head. :-)
It was so totally ingrained in me, in my energetically bodies. When I started to grow up it was what boys and men were attracted to me by, for the most part.
My body that wanted hugs.
And hugs I would get - but not in the form I wanted to.
..This blog is not going in the direction I thought it would go to, or I wanted to.
Today I am not going to let it go where it wants. I wanted to say something else.
This is my morning meditation.
Writing - with my son's warm sleeping body next to me.
.. Or just looking at the sky - we sleep with the huge window curtains open, so that we can at all times look at the sky. (that is why I spotted the owl a week or so ago).
.. Or making plans in my head - it's my best moment to listen to my unseen guides. (thank you)
.. Or writing blogs in my head, just because I do not want to put the wi-fi on, and open the computer or iPad :-)
That happens quite often. :-)
..Feeling the love and the gratitude for him - that he is so naturally trusting,
And gratitude and love for me. For me - that I can let this happen and I allow him to love me. That I allow love.
Every morning, this is it. A love meditation.
And than he wakes up and he asks me something, like we just had stopped talking a few seconds ago. Today, he did not even open his eyes yet - and he asks: "Hoe schrijf je Celine Tam?". How do you write Celine Tam?
I tell him. He says: it's easy, then.
".. en hoe zeg je telephone in het Engels?" How do you say "telephone" in English.
I tell him, and I also say "where is my phone?", in English. He laughs and he answers, in English,
We remember together that "phone" was his second word (first was "bal" = ball)-
He would play incessantly with our old telephone when he had just started walking.
He is learning constantly. So beautiful to see.
So who is Celine Tam that V asked about? His last best "friend" on Internet. You can see her here below. He watched this particular video of her about 300 times in the last two weeks.
He learned the song by heart by now and during the time of the day he asks me often what is the meaning of some of the words is.
I wanted to write that I am relieved that he does not watch Jesus Christ Superstar anymore, I could not really stand it any more.
And then he asks to watch Jesus Christ Superstar - he does that telepathic thing :-)
Oh well.
This is how he learns English at the moment.
And then he asks: "wat betekent Rawsome?" (what does raw some means?)
I am quite amazed by this because it is impossible that he ever heard that from me, although Rawsome is one of my favorite names in the raw food world :-) Awesome find.
I ask him where he heard it, and he says simply: in my head. :-)
