The fear that 'this' is it, while I am at the border.
While I am walking here in the mist, it smells like trees and in the same time like a vast yellow field, the crop I was looking for.
It smells like a forest garden.
And I am scared.
I can smell and feel my forest garden but I am still walking in the morning mist and I do not see anything.
What if I just pass it buy?
What if I will never ever find it..
What if it's Not.Meant.To.Be. ?..
What if I do not know how to harvest this forest garden of mine?
What if I will stand here at the border, afraid that if I move one meter further, it might be in the wrong direction..?
And all of the sudden, the ease comes in..
I take a deeeep breath of this amazing moist air that smells like sunset and I realize.. I am surrounded by my forest garden.
Any direction I will go, I will find harvest.
A different kind of harvest maybe - but still - a harvest.
The winter has passed, the cold and snow are now gone.
If I walk to the left, I might find wild blue berries and raspberries.
To my right, there might be a apple tree.
I might walk on to find cress and wild strawberries.
I am still standing.
The fear of missing it all, of missing all the other things is paralyzing.
And I have a choice:
Wait until the mist will lift - which sets me in a position of no power, I am delivered to the natural cycles. This might be a choice, if I see myself as a little tree in my forest garden. I might wait for the harvest to come to me. I might wait until the scent of the wild blueberries will give me a clue.
..Or move. Any direction at all. Because I am a human and I have legs. And I am conscious of my choice, I am aware of having a choice. I am aware that any direction I'll take it would take me to some kind of harvest.
I am still standing here, I am not moving. Feeling the difference between the first place I thought I was in, afraid I might walk past my forest garden - and the place I know I am in, surrounded by harvest in all directions, just different kinds of harvest.
Having a choice to wait confidently and surrender to nature, knowing that my harvest will come to me - or to move and go get it.
What would you do?
(and now read this as a metaphor for life choices. Or business choices.)
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