april's shine day 18/30

do what is doable. start now! (leonie dawson)

dear Life,

These last two days have been under this spell.. Do what is doable. Start now. (by Leonie Dawson). Some time ago I did one of her inspired business courses and this stayed with me as it is so potent - and as there are times when there is nothing else to do..

So what does that mean, staying in the flow? For me it meant certainly not pushing myself over the limit when I burn out.. I am only a human single mother attempting to keep all the control over mostly uncontrollable things - and as I believe that we totally control our reality, sometimes I find myself attempting to fight what I already created - and that means the now..

So, this is a letter of resignation from control:-)

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And I want to say thank you for yesterday, when I surrendered to what was available and there and I was less productive than intended.. I wrote and recorded two meditations, I cleaned the bathroom together with V., I joined a new master mind with 3 wonderful goddesses (the 3M's MasterMind- MasterHeart) and I made a drawing-doodle. To record the meditations I had to move three times and start a few times over because of different noises (I live in a wonderfully noisy group:-) ).. And V. wanted to play with me a lot - and it is an honor that he wants me to play that much and close - so I fully embraced it.

After cleaning the bathroom and playing with water extensively, he said that he was cold and I took him in my arms, wrapped a warm huge towel around him and suddenly he was like a baby and started making sound like a baby, pretending to be one. He wanted to play a baby and mama and he asked me to make him warm, wrapped in the covers of the bed, he wanted us to lay in bed together and tell stories, and look at the blue skies and hear the wind. This all was so out of our ordinary way of playing that I found it amazing and found myself very emotional about it, my little baby:-) we just lay there, looking outside at how the wind was moving the trees (there was a big wind yesterday) and the lamppost just outside our window, we looked at the birds and talked about seasons and how the wind is everywhere and all the time, all of this while holding him close and him making sounds of a baby - when he didn't forget that he could talk with words:-) We just laid there, maybe for more than an hour, while a mushroom soup was cooking. I was in awe at this moment that just came into being out of nothing - as he is very active and runs and jumps all day:-)

Thank you, a deep deep thank you.