H stands for Honoring

Grateful for being me

I believe in signs. I believe in a greater power of life that guides us all to live as a whole on this little Planet, as one immense organism. I also believe that each and every one of us is capable of reading these signs and that, in order to be in balance withe everything that surrounds us, we better not forget how to do that.. I will not go ten steps backwards when I see a black cat, it's not this kind of signs I am referring to. But if I want to get somewhere and three means of transport break down before I even start on my journey, I would start to wonder if going is such a good idea.
On the other hand, I am constantly catching myself forgetting all this above :-)
Today, for example, is Wednesday. In this little family of mine, Wednesday equals a trip to the farmer's market in a nearby town. Recently I even stand behind a market stall selling raw treats sometimes, thanks to Heike from Ciao Bella Canella. I love it all, the interaction with people buying or just tasting, the making of the treats, the energy I and they get from it, all of it. 
Today I just went there for the weekly organic produce shopping and for tasting Heike's yum creations.

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As usual, Heike had a table with a few chairs in front of her market stall. Today there was a guy sitting there and talking to people, spreading business cards like candy. I first though he might be a friend of Heike's, which turns out he wasn't. He offered free readings to everybody - as means of marketing, I suppose - offering to tell us what we should eat, on the basis of a certain computer program that he had on his laptop.
He was targeting mostly people with children, as he assumed that all the children are having so many problems with what they eat - and the parents would obviously want to solve the problem.
He came to me, too. I fell for the "free offering" although I should know better by now, right?
He told me some things about V and what he should eat, and some of them felt right and matched the way V eats naturally.
Then he offered to read my system - and he told me many things that were not right - and then some more - and ending with the fact that, based on what he saw in the computer, I don't have any will power (and my business is thus doomed). And that in my business, I should just sit there and wait for things - and money - to come to me. (I saw these image of me laying at the bottom of a tree and waiting for the pears to drop in my mouth).
I was feeling increasingly uneasy and getting quite depressed, only from a 3 minutes conversation! Then when I said that this cannot be right, he even insisted that I need a willpower partner to complete my lack of it.. Later on he even said that we could maybe work together as I am not able to tell everybody what they should eat (not that I want to, but he didn't ask) - and he could..
He went on to other "free readings" - actually keeping the whole day the only table and chairs at the market, busy. Not his table, just taking advantage of the lovely energy Heike was setting up with her wonderful treats and her clients. 
I left the area feeling quite faint and immensely down.
So my business has no real chance, he said. So I have no will power to build it (or anything whatsoever). And I should just relax and wait for things to come to me (oh, and did I mention that I should eat alone while meditating? and did I mention that he actually asked me to give him from my chocolates and treats that I had prepared for people to taste? and that he said, "I do readings for free but at least I bring some chocolates to my girl" - 4 plus 3 - and his girl is 44..)
Even after leaving the table I was getting more and more down and while I was doing my weekly shopping I was trying to understand what this feeling actually was. 

You see, this has always been my pattern. I always believed what others thought, said or suggested, more than I believed myself and my inner guidance.
Today it all became so much more evident because of this guy.
He was my teacher, in a very unpleasant way - but ever so powerful!
And double more so because today I was planning to make my video about Honoring - expressing gratitude, for my 43rd wonderful year of life.
And besides this guy's very bad marketing that left me feeling empty and down - and me feeling that everything was wrong with me - and then with him - I realized something else:

There was a really strange "coincidence" going on - that when I intended to make a video about gratitude I get to experience such a day and get that yucky feeling all over me.
So I got rid of his energy, I have set the facts straight for myself, I have reset myself and my energy and made the gratitude video for you today.

And the thing is, I need to express gratitude even more in this kind of yucky days. I need to get down to it and search for it, and search for the things that make me see how precious life is. And while honoring life in such a day is ten times more difficult, the direct result of doing so is ever so obvious at the end of it all. 

What do you feel? Is gratitude a part of your life? Do you keep a gratitude journal? And what do you do when the yucky is coming to visit?

PS: today I learned a lot from this guy, also on how NOT TO do marketing:

• he used someone else's place the whole day, sitting at the only table available in the whole market - possibly being bad for Heike's business;
• he said he did things for free but than made everyone feel quite badly about it - and asking for treats in return - and not one or two but four of these and five of those - in my case things that I lovingly prepared for MY FRIENDS to taste; Also, because he was doing it "for free", he took the liberty of keeping us waiting as he was spreading his cards randomply to parents and young people around..
• he did not have a target market but just went for the parents because of an assumption that could be totally wrong - as the parents that come to the Farmer's Market are mostly quite conscious about what they and their children eat;
• he told us how we are and what we should eat - based on a computer program and on his knowledge about the program, actually making us feel quite bad and  with no options whatsoever.. (note to self: do not EVER tell people how they are and what they should do!)