"Do not put your journal in your blog", they say. But that’s exactly what I’m going to do. For the most part, because journaling is about the only thing I can write nowadays... If you andered around here these past few years, you've probably noticed that there was not much of a blog (or signs of virtual online-life, for that matter) going on here. So what happened? A dear friend died, I almost was in Paris with my little V-boy when the big terrorist attacks happened, I've had some other little and big things happen and deep forgotten stuff came up and BOOM, no blog "as it should be" coming through my fingers. (..or why I am not writing a blog every day, like I said I would..) You know, this is probably.. this must be the most difficult part of my business.. Telling the truth at all times - with love. Love - for all of us involved.. Me, included. I guess the first thing that comes to my mind about this promise I made to myself (that I am not respecting) is that life is a cycle made of cycles. You know what they say, that in 3 dimensions life looks like a spiral (my favourite) - but in real life it might feel like from time to time we arrive in the same (rotten) spot we were in a few months back or a few years back and think: Geez, I thought I already dealt with that.. And still, here it is. Again. Same here. In "real life" I had a "real reason" to stop my project of 365 days of blogging only after... hahaha, a week.. :-) Namely, my "real life reason" was that my beloved laptop broke. It didn't break-break - but some of the letters went striking - Y, U, I, O. (Like, the most important :-) the letters in Y O U and I :-) ) I did several practical things to find a solution - about which I will probably write at length another time, for the ones out there who might find themselves in the same kind of situation.. For now, let's just say I had a few kind of partial solutions for a while - but not a complete one until I bought a new laptop.. Which happened about one month after I stopped my baby 365 days project :-) A month after! Gasp! I promised to write 365 days, I wrote 7 in a row.. and now it was 30 days later..! It gave me food for thought. About how resistance can manifest itself in all these mysterious ways. About how I did not even know when this whole month passed. About how, after a month of not writing a thing, I had little to no inspiration. About how before my computer broke I could not stop writing for more than 3 months.. ..About how difficult it was to even consider writing this blog post. Yet, here I am, writing it. ..That joke with the priest that said "do as I say, not as I do"? (Wiktionary says: This order first appeared in John Selden's Table-Talk (c. 1654): "Preachers say, 'Do as I say, not as I do.'") I watch V, he is learning, every second of his life. He is learning how this world works, how his body works, how interaction works. Does he learn from what I say? A bit, when I insist, I explain and I plead. But the biggest part from his learning he does by watching me. He learns from what I do. I believe we are all like this naturally - but we the grown-ups seem to have learned to only (mostly) believe the words and not the actions of people around us. In marketing school I even learned that people believe it more if they see something written - so I'd better write all kinds of convincing "facts" (read: lies) on my website - in order for people to buy what I sell.. Of course, this opens the door for everybody to write whatever they think fit - and declare it "truth".. "If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up doing nothing for nobody."
However, before you take these steps, it is essential to turn off all the critical voices playing in your head.
Once those voices are silenced, give yourself permission to begin. Go here to see how you can do just that. |
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I write about what makes me feel alive and shining: my work, art, love of life, sun, the sea, essential oils, my V-boy son, raw food and green smoothies.
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April 2020
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