Blog Archives

Don't do what I say - don't even do what I do..

21/3/2015

..That joke with the priest that said "do as I say, not as I do"?
(Wiktionary says: This order first appeared in John Selden's Table-Talk (c. 1654): "Preachers say, 'Do as I say, not as I do.'")

I watch V, he is learning, every second of his life.
He is learning how this world works, how his body works, how interaction works.

Does he learn from what I say?
A bit, when I insist, I explain and I plead.
But the biggest part from his learning he does by watching me.
He learns from what I do.

I believe we are all like this naturally - but we the grown-ups seem to have learned to only (mostly) believe the words and not the actions of people around us.

In marketing school I even learned that people believe it more if they see something written - so I'd better write all kinds of convincing "facts" (read: lies) on my website - in order for people to buy what I sell..

Of course, this opens the door for everybody to write whatever they think fit - and declare it "truth"..

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walking in the purple garden - acrylic painting

19/3/2015

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the purple garden, acrylic and gesso on canvas, 50x50cm

I don't remember the exact first time I saw you.
But we ended up working together, you and me, very late evenings, as one does..

I loved our together. Somehow as the days grew longer and everything became greener than green, so our love blossomed.
We understood each other and there was this electricity as we accidentally touched hands.

At the time I lived in the cheese factory.
I hear that the cheese factory is now an art gallery, how appropriate :-)

I loved living there. I was fascinated with all spaces and rooms, very mysterious and quite haunting.. (not something that I particularly appreciated). But oh, the windy nights when the trees were dancing in the sidewalk lights - i was laying on the floor and watching for hours.

I had some of the most blissful moments in that space. There were many rooms and none of them really a bedroom, living room or kitchen so I had to improvise and this added to the excitement. It was a kind of an old looking office and the entrance door was made of glass. There were all kinds of secret doors and closets.
When my mother came to visit from Romania she bought a ceramic cat from a local artist and she put it at the entrance. She said: there should always be a cat waiting for you at the door.
At my entrance door now there is a wooden cat that you bought for me once upon a time.

There was much love between me and you. There was friend's love and there was romantic love. There was the universal-unconditional-human love and there was the 'I want to marry you, have lots of kids and be with you forever' kind of love.

Only some of these actually manifested freely as you and I were always somehow out of sync, either you or I had other partners - or both in the same time.
But even when we did not see each other for years, once we met again it was us back in the old days, feeling young, laughing and playing.

There is something very special when two people can work together perfectly, and we did. And there was always something magical in our getting togethers. Always something uplifting about us even if we were never life partners.
Our friendship was deep and we could talk about anything and everything.

Now you decided you don't want any contact with me any more. The reason you gave sounded very strange to me but I respect your decision.

It hurts deeply. It hurts that I cannot understand and it hurts that it sounded nothing like our communication ever was since we first met. It hurst that i will not see you.

Friendships come and go, I know. Some friendships are for life - I always thought ours was for forever.
But I respect you and your decision - and whatever the reason was behind it.
I wish you a good ride and a wonderful life.
See you in the purple garden.

As things and stories go on and are transformed, this story, too, wants to be transformed into something else.

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What is love..?

8/3/2015

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(..baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more)

If you love him, breastfeed him. On demand and until he wants no more.
If you love him, don't breastfeed him. Or at least, if you do, because I see you're stubborn, give him breast regularly on the clock, once in three hours. No, once in four hours. He'll get used to the rhythm and it's good for him. "Soon you will want him to wake up for school and then..
And of course, stop at six month. He actually does not need it more than 6 months, and it will make you and him independent. You'll have a life. And your breasts might actually retain a decent form after.

If you love him, do. not dress him too warm. He will get tougher this way.
If you love him, dress him warm.
If you love him, punish him.
If you love him, accept everything he does and smile and never tell him he is wrong.

If you love him, give him timeouts and spank him so that he learns his limits. So that he learns who the boss is.
If you love him, you must decide for him every single move, because he is too small to know. You are the parent, you decide. Otherwise he will never know what's right or wrong.

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