I am one of the most spontaneous and impulsive people I know.
Living in the NL attempted to get this out of me.. :-)

As I discovered early on after moving here, not having an agenda while living in the Netherlands seems like a blasphemy, like "cursing in the church" as the Dutch say.. 
I tend to organise something at the last moment.. This can lead to frustration and loneliness in a country where most people plan in October where they'll go with holiday in August next year.. I had to learn to manage it and I even found a few Dutch friends that are quite spontaneous themselves.

So you can maybe imagine how much I was looking forward to going to Paris - when I tell you that I planned that trip 3 months in advance.
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I was going to see Teal Swan, one of my favourite teachers. in Paris on November 15th. I had the train tickets, the hotel booked and of course, my ticket for the workshop. I was so looking forward to this.

( in the picture, Tour Eiffel, detail from my painting "Paradise Bird in Paris", sold January 2015)

(besides the first picture which I took away from Facebook, - thank you, Marius! - and a picture I took a few years back - the rest of the pictures were taken by Kuki when he came, with Bobi, to visit me and C in 2004.. You and I can see me and a bit of the NL through his eyes)

..Woke up with a startle this morning as someone was knocking on my bedroom's window..
These people are changing something on our facade in the garden and I promised that I would be awake so that they can use my electricity in the morning.

These promises we make..- for me it’s too early in the morning.

I slept too little, again. I am not really a queen of self care these days..

And I am sad. Still sad.
Grieving. Still grieving.

Draga Kuki, 
Dear Kuki,

Until this very last moment I was wondering in which language should I write to you, to say Good Bye..
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Romanian? Because it was our language? Because we only spoke in English with each other when you came to The Netherlands with your sister - and only when C was around?

Or English? Because many more people will understand. And care..

Draga, dear Kuki..