I am one of the most spontaneous and impulsive people I know. Living in the NL attempted to get this out of me.. :-) As I discovered early on after moving here, not having an agenda while living in the Netherlands seems like a blasphemy, like "cursing in the church" as the Dutch say.. I tend to organise something at the last moment.. This can lead to frustration and loneliness in a country where most people plan in October where they'll go with holiday in August next year.. I had to learn to manage it and I even found a few Dutch friends that are quite spontaneous themselves. So you can maybe imagine how much I was looking forward to going to Paris - when I tell you that I planned that trip 3 months in advance. I was going to see Teal Swan, one of my favourite teachers. in Paris on November 15th. I had the train tickets, the hotel booked and of course, my ticket for the workshop. I was so looking forward to this. ( in the picture, Tour Eiffel, detail from my painting "Paradise Bird in Paris", sold January 2015)
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(besides the first picture which I took away from Facebook, - thank you, Marius! - and a picture I took a few years back - the rest of the pictures were taken by Kuki when he came, with Bobi, to visit me and C in 2004.. You and I can see me and a bit of the NL through his eyes) ..Woke up with a startle this morning as someone was knocking on my bedroom's window.. These people are changing something on our facade in the garden and I promised that I would be awake so that they can use my electricity in the morning. These promises we make..- for me it’s too early in the morning. I slept too little, again. I am not really a queen of self care these days.. And I am sad. Still sad. Grieving. Still grieving. Draga Kuki, Dear Kuki, Until this very last moment I was wondering in which language should I write to you, to say Good Bye.. Romanian? Because it was our language? Because we only spoke in English with each other when you came to The Netherlands with your sister - and only when C was around? Or English? Because many more people will understand. And care.. Draga, dear Kuki.. |
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I write about what makes me feel alive and shining: my work, art, love of life, sun, the sea, essential oils, my V-boy son, raw food and green smoothies.
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April 2020
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