I don't remember the exact first time I saw you. But we ended up working together, you and me, very late evenings, as one does.. I loved our together. Somehow as the days grew longer and everything became greener than green, so our love blossomed. We understood each other and there was this electricity as we accidentally touched hands. At the time I lived in the cheese factory. I hear that the cheese factory is now an art gallery, how appropriate :-) I loved living there. I was fascinated with all spaces and rooms, very mysterious and quite haunting.. (not something that I particularly appreciated). But oh, the windy nights when the trees were dancing in the sidewalk lights - i was laying on the floor and watching for hours. I had some of the most blissful moments in that space. There were many rooms and none of them really a bedroom, living room or kitchen so I had to improvise and this added to the excitement. It was a kind of an old looking office and the entrance door was made of glass. There were all kinds of secret doors and closets.
When my mother came to visit from Romania she bought a ceramic cat from a local artist and she put it at the entrance. She said: there should always be a cat waiting for you at the door. At my entrance door now there is a wooden cat that you bought for me once upon a time. There was much love between me and you. There was friend's love and there was romantic love. There was the universal-unconditional-human love and there was the 'I want to marry you, have lots of kids and be with you forever' kind of love. Only some of these actually manifested freely as you and I were always somehow out of sync, either you or I had other partners - or both in the same time. But even when we did not see each other for years, once we met again it was us back in the old days, feeling young, laughing and playing. There is something very special when two people can work together perfectly, and we did. And there was always something magical in our getting togethers. Always something uplifting about us even if we were never life partners. Our friendship was deep and we could talk about anything and everything. Now you decided you don't want any contact with me any more. The reason you gave sounded very strange to me but I respect your decision. It hurts deeply. It hurts that I cannot understand and it hurts that it sounded nothing like our communication ever was since we first met. It hurst that i will not see you. Friendships come and go, I know. Some friendships are for life - I always thought ours was for forever. But I respect you and your decision - and whatever the reason was behind it. I wish you a good ride and a wonderful life. See you in the purple garden. As things and stories go on and are transformed, this story, too, wants to be transformed into something else.
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(..baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more) If you love him, breastfeed him. On demand and until he wants no more. If you love him, don't breastfeed him. Or at least, if you do, because I see you're stubborn, give him breast regularly on the clock, once in three hours. No, once in four hours. He'll get used to the rhythm and it's good for him. "Soon you will want him to wake up for school and then.. And of course, stop at six month. He actually does not need it more than 6 months, and it will make you and him independent. You'll have a life. And your breasts might actually retain a decent form after. If you love him, do. not dress him too warm. He will get tougher this way. If you love him, dress him warm. If you love him, punish him. If you love him, accept everything he does and smile and never tell him he is wrong. If you love him, give him timeouts and spank him so that he learns his limits. So that he learns who the boss is. If you love him, you must decide for him every single move, because he is too small to know. You are the parent, you decide. Otherwise he will never know what's right or wrong. It was wonderful to have Ellen Mannens and Floris Sheplitz visiting me one Friday afternoon two weeks ago. It was more than "gezellig", how the Dutch say it, it was so nice that we forgot the time and got lost in stories.. (not only mine!) :-) ..Until I asked how much time we have left and Floris said, uhm, we have one more half hour of light to make the pictures so you'd better hurry up with that salad :-) Thank you, Ellen and Floris! The pictures are very beautiful - and masterful, if you'd know that V was in absolutely no mood for pictures!. Ellen Mannens managed to magically turn my looooong innuendo story into a beautifully written concise article. A translation in English of her Dutch words is of course in order so here it goes (it is in some places a "free" translation as I have added a few explanatory things): Title: Raw Food brings the energy of the sun in your body ..I mean.. really??? Somebody actually typed this (see title) into google and ShiningMama's website came up as number ONE for this search term.. 😉 I feel really sorry for the guy (I assume it was a guy), because boy, was he in for a surprise.. Not only did he not find what he wanted but he found quite the opposite of a sugar mama - or the way to manifest one.. And I hope to be number one in google for less weird search terms.. 😊 Let's manifest that, shall we? Happy solstice and happy holidays! As 2015 is approaching I am taking time to review 2014 and schedule and plan my next year.. Many-many things to be grateful for. I was going to write a few blogs about it (..was planning about five :-) ).. It would've been nice to be able to write them down, not only in my head.. :-) But as it happens, Victor was sick these last two weeks, three types of flu in a row.. There really isn't anything that makes me more forget more about the world than creating stuff.
Case in point, last Saturday Victor was away for the day with his best friend Cas and I was home alone. And it was then that it happened:
It had started snowing and my grandpa Tataie had brought my mittens in his pocket. We walked away from the Children's Palace where I was doing gymnastics once a week.. In those times the Children's palace - Palatul Copiilor - was in the Cotroceni Palace, close to our home in Bucharest.. I loved to put my hand in the big pockets of my grandpa's coat as he held my hand. That day there was something else in his pocket. A very small box, it seemed, and he stopped under the snowflakes and allowed me to open it. In the box, one square chocolate bonbon. It was for me, he said. I held it in my hand and then took a bite that revealed the most delicious inside: white, creamy, sticky, sweet and perfumed with vanilla, marzipan and nougat in the same time. I have delighted in eating itzy-bitzy smallest pieces of it until we arrived at home.. I was probably five year old..
It's my birthday next week (happy b'day, me! ✨) and I am again planning a fabulous party.
For me and for you. I've made a habit that with every birthday I look at how my last year was and at how I'd want the next one to be - and this next year I want to make YOU (with your permission, of course!) a big part of my life. I have huge, exciting, sparkling plans - and I will reveal them in the next two month, one by one. Me and my art do not officially hold any category. I have been repeatedly told (by some galleries, by some of the viewers of my art, by some fellow artists) that my art is too…. divers. Too colorful. Not colorful enough (in the early beginnings). Too busy. Too.. divers. Yes, I believe this is the one I have heard most. Long ago it started with timid, pencil black and whites, on small papers, hiding under my technical drawings. After a while I realized that I had no intention to use an erasing gum I went on and used drawing pens (took me a few years). Then collage entered my life because I had moved to The Netherlands and I had discovered colored paper!!! |
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I write about what makes me feel alive and shining: my work, art, love of life, sun, the sea, essential oils, my V-boy son, raw food and green smoothies.
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April 2020
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