(..or why I am not writing a blog every day, like I said I would..)
You know, this is probably.. this must be the most difficult part of my business..
Telling the truth at all times - with love.
Love - for all of us involved.. Me, included.
I guess the first thing that comes to my mind about this promise I made to myself (that I am not respecting) is that life is a cycle made of cycles.
You know what they say, that in 3 dimensions life looks like a spiral (my favourite) - but in real life it might feel like from time to time we arrive in the same (rotten) spot we were in a few months back or a few years back and think: Geez, I thought I already dealt with that..
And still, here it is. Again.
In "real life" I had a "real reason" to stop my project of 365 days of blogging only after... hahaha, a week.. :-)
Namely, my "real life reason" was that my beloved laptop broke.
It didn't break-break - but some of the letters went striking - Y, U, I, O.
(Like, the most important :-) the letters in Y O U and I :-) )
I did several practical things to find a solution - about which I will probably write at length another time, for the ones out there who might find themselves in the same kind of situation..
For now, let's just say I had a few kind of partial solutions for a while - but not a complete one until I bought a new laptop.. Which happened about one month after I stopped my baby 365 days project :-)
A month after! Gasp!
I promised to write 365 days, I wrote 7 in a row.. and now it was 30 days later..!
It gave me food for thought.
About how resistance can manifest itself in all these mysterious ways.
About how I did not even know when this whole month passed.
About how, after a month of not writing a thing, I had little to no inspiration.
About how before my computer broke I could not stop writing for more than 3 months..
..About how difficult it was to even consider writing this blog post.
Yet, here I am, writing it.
The fear that 'this' is it, while I am at the border.
While I am walking here in the mist, it smells like trees and in the same time like a vast yellow field, the crop I was looking for.
It smells like a forest garden.
And I am scared.
I can smell and feel my forest garden but I am still walking in the morning mist and I do not see anything.
What if I just pass it buy?
What if I will never ever find it..
What if it's Not.Meant.To.Be. ?..
It's been a long wonderful summer for me and V.
For Shining Mama it has been an important and really exciting summer - as we passed through a new, official, yummy gate and things are ever scrumptiously expanding! :-)
And the weather! In The Netherlands (where me and V live, as you may know) summer started this year in April - as me wearing sandals :-) The only two bad weather weeks were in August - exactly when we went to Romania for holidays - when it rained and rained (good, my garden loved it! :-) ). And because in April we moved to The Hague, near the beach, days with sun and sea were - and are - gorgeous.
Hmm, now I talk about the weather - I am obviously very integrated.. :-) In the Netherlands the weather is a subject of national importance - so here I am, addressing it in a whole blog post :-)
I must give it to Global Warming. I hope the Dutch summers will look more like this one. Three years ago I could only count a grand total of 6 days of summer.
And yes, In Romania (Bucharest) it was really warm and summer-y. above 30 C everyday with a few days of above 40C.. With lots of walks in the park in the hot afternoons I appreciated the sunshine and the trees but also the air conditioning in our hotel room in the evening :-)
My plans to write lots of blogs and keep you guys posted subdued to the reality of gorgeous days spent playing and doing things away from the computer, in the garden, at the beach. V even told me that beginning with this summer I am aloud to swim! (he had a water trauma and he used to start screaming if he saw me attempting to go into any kind of water). So I've had a few swims.
And with the making of art, of Shine Snacks and the adventure of unpacking in April and May, the writing of my business plan (in Dutch!) and lots of wonderful books to read, sitting at the computer has been postponed and postponed :-)
Until now, that is.
I grew up in a communist country. Before I even could understand what envy is, I knew it was bad.
I heard all those stories from my grandparents, with the good girl and the bad girl, the good farmer and the good farmer - and the good ones were never envious.
Growing up I was still feeling envy sometimes. Maybe no envy in a strict sense of the word but longing for things that I did not have and I saw other children using. Like, all kinds of food, for example.
My parents were no members of the one and only political party, the communist one.
My family was not communist in a sea of communist families . For a long time I did not even know what to make of that - or why it was important - but at school I was painfully made aware of it almost everyday by the children and teachers.
"If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up doing nothing for nobody."
However, before you take these steps, it is essential to turn off all the critical voices playing in your head.
Once those voices are silenced, give yourself permission to begin.
Go here to see how you can do just that.
So I have decided!
In the beginning was Greenz 4 Momz about the green juices and smoothies and the great things that come from drinking green. But little by little it became a symbol for a lot of other things, too.
It is about giving the green moms the thumbs up: green for green moms! Moms can be here who they are. I am so happy to keep the sacred space for mothers and mothers to be.
It's about giving moms the green stuff via my writing and videos. It's about growing and grounding and blossoming and being in the sun.
It's about me being of service.
It's about the green stuff and why we need it. It is what makes us grow. Inside and outside. It is liquid sunshine that makes us glow.
It's about motherhood. It's about green motherhood, natural mama. It's about being so close to the nature as it possible is on the Earth right now.
It's about Mother Earth. It's about what she gives us and what I am grateful for.
get my news:
Learn how to make Raw Chocolate with essential oils
I write about what makes me feel alive and shining: my work, art, love of life, sun, the sea, essential oils, my son, raw food and green smoothies.
Please feel free to share this page with your friends and to write to me whatever you feel like sharing.